With most of February revolving around love and romance, it’s no wonder we’ve been committing so much blog-estate to posts about Valentine’s Day. Today, however, I’m not just talking about the holiday. I’m talking about love, and marriage, and relationships in general.

As parents, we all try to make sure we’re communicating how much we love our spouses or significant others, on a daily basis. But are we communicating the right way? Do our partners understand how we’re showing them we care?

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What’s your Love Language?

Have you heard of the book the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman?

It wasn’t until after my divorce and reading a bit of this book that I realized the truth of it – everyone shows or shares their love in different ways.

Do you know what that means?? It means, for example, that while I may think that acts of service (doing something for someone else) and words of affirmation (“I appreciate you”) prove that my fiancé loves me,  James thinks that spending quality time together, and physical touch, are what prove I love him.

It also means, that you could be perfectly happy with how your partner “proves” his love for you with thoughtful gifts, while he feels forgotten because words of your approval never cross your mind.

It’s important to figure out what each of your primary “love languages” are. It’s even more important to communicate that with your spouse (or boyfriend, or whoever you’re with) so that you can not only be aware of how you receive love, but also how your partner receives it. Focusing on each other’s primary love language can help you both show your love for each other in a way you each understand.

Check out 5 Love Languages website to take the quiz and figure out what your primary language is!

 

The 5 Love Languages

Words of Affirmation

Showing your significant other you love them through grateful words. For example, “I appreciate the things you do,” or “You’re an amazing father.”

Acts of Service

Doing things for your spouse that show you care. A good example is filling up their tank with gas the night before their big meeting so they don’t have to worry about it the day of. My dad never let my mom go anywhere without a full tank.

Physical Touch

The act of physical contact with your partner. Not necessarily sexual, merely holding hands or hugging each other can tap into this language.

Quality Time

Spending time together, especially on date nights, when you can give each other undivided attention.

Receiving Gifts

While it sounds materialistic, the actual gift is not as important as the idea that you were thinking of them when you got it. The gift itself could be as small as a flower you picked from the garden.

The Importance of Date Night

Even if spending quality time together isn’t one of your top two love languages, it’s still an important part of any relationship.

After you take the quiz, the 5 Love Languages website makes it a point to say that no matter what your score, never discount a love language – they are all valuable!

How many of you ladies prioritize that one on one time with your significant other? And no, I don’t mean doing your own thing while in the same room.

Spending quality time together can be difficult, to say the least, once you throw kids into the picture. That’s why, as parents, we tend to let romance go and not worry about date nights as much. BUT, just because you’re a parent, that doesn’t mean you should push your marriage or relationship to the back burner. It happens all the time, especially with new parents. So take steps to rectify the situation – get creative!

Try setting aside one day of the week that your mom or a friend can watch the kids in the afternoon or evening so you have the opportunity to be a couple. Or let the kids hang out at their friend’s house so the two of you can go on a walk or hike alone. Or if you’re really strapped, squeeze in some Netflix-and-chill time after the kiddos are in bed. 😉

Be it date night, a couple hours alone, or even adults-only Netflix after dark, setting aside a block of time to focus only on each other can do wonders for your relationship.

(One-on-one time is important in ANY relationship! Remember our Mommy-Daughter’s Day last week? Yes, parent + child time is important, too.)

When you prioritize time with someone you care about, you’re showing them that they’re important. And of course they are! You know you love them, you may even say so every day, but that special block of time speaks louder than a simple “I love you.”

So to help all you mamas (and your partners) out, below is a list of 50+ ideas of ways to spend your time together, that actually fit YOUR love languages. Below each activity, we’ve included any and all of the 5 love languages that particular date appeals to.

So get a babysitter, and turn up the romance in a way that shows each of you just how much you really care! Remember to keep your partner’s language in mind (and not just your own) when deciding which activity to plan!

50+ Date Ideas that Fit your Love Language

While the activities listed below may be ideas for an outing or date night, there are always other gestures and ways to speak your spouse’s love language that can be added. (I’ll include the extras at the end!)

1. Netflix and Chill

o  Wait for the kiddos to fall asleep, then concoct a couple of “adult drinks” to sip on while you cuddle up and watch something on Netflix.

o  Language: Quality Time, Physical Touch

2. Dinner and a Movie

o  Choosing which restaurant to visit and which movie to see will probably be the hardest decisions you make on this date! You could opt for a place that offers both like Alamo Drafthouse, or Studio Movie Grill. Or go to dinner somewhere quiet before or after the movie to hold a meaningful conversation.

o  Language: Quality Time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation

3. Fishing

o  This might seem like a strange date idea, but throw in a picnic lunch, and it’s perfect! If you don’t have any fishing gear, borrow it from a relative. Find a nice quiet spot off the lake to set up a space for the two of you to sit, fish, and talk!

o  Language: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation

4. Camping under the stars

o  Planning a short camping trip is a fun way to spend quality time together, relying on each other’s skills. Spending nights under the stars has lots of potential not only for quiet time together, but also meaningful conversations, and even the romantic opportunity to present them with a small gift. Perhaps a flower from nearby?

o  Language: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Receiving gifts

5. Hiking

o  Wake up early  and dress depending on the weather. Don’t forget a bottle of water. And just walk! Hold your spouse’s hand, talk about hopes, dreams or your plans for the future.

o  Language: Quality time, Physical touch

6. Groupon Activities

o  Surprise your significant other with a new activity you purchased off Groupon. The options range from a theatrical dinner, to self-dense classes, to out-of-body spa experiences. What would they enjoy doing? Check your calendars and make arrangements for a day that would fit both your schedules. Have a babysitter already in line when you present them with the certificate. They’ll be thankful they don’t have to be the one to worry about it!

o  Language: Quality time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service

7. Yoga or Working out together

o  Breaking a sweat together whether with yoga, or running, or taking a kickboxing class together, can really pump up the endorphins and be a fun way to not only spend time together but also improve your health. Cheer your spouse on!

o  Language: Quality time, Words of Affirmation

8. Visit a Carnival or Street fair

o  Is there a Carnival or Street fair coming to town? Pick a night to go sans kids (you can always take them on a separate night). Ride rides, eat greasy food, and impress each other by winning carnival games. Maybe you’ll win a prize for your date as a reminder of all the fun you had.

o  Language: Quality time, Receiving Gifts

9. An Amusement park

o  An amusement park is much like a carnival or street fair date, but with bigger rides and actual roller coasters. It also stays in one place so you can keep coming back. Hold each other’s hands, eat the greasy food, play all kinds of games, and/or grab a souvenir.

o  Language: Quality time, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, possibly Acts of Service

10. Local Arcade

o  James and I went to this fun local arcade called Free Play in Richardson, TX that also included a bar. (Those under 21 not allowed after 9pm Friday and Saturday.) I’m not usually into arcade style games, but we had tons of fun! Lots of friendly competition and laughter.

o  Language: Quality Time, Physical Touch

11. Art or Music Festival

o  Hold hands, walk around the grounds, check out vendors, enjoy live music, and appreciate each other’s company. If you’re not sure when the next local festival is, check out Everfest. It shares lots of different events and fairs, where they’re located and when.

o  Language: Quality Time, Physical touch, Receiving Gifts

12. Art or Science Museum

o  Much like festivals, museums often have lots of potential. My personal favorites are art and science museums, but there are many other kinds that may peak your interests. Visiting one should give you plenty to talk about.

o  Language: Quality Time, Physical touch, possibly Receiving Gifts

13. Painting + Wine

o  Businesses such as Painting with a Twist, Sip-n-Doodle, and Paint and Sip, among others, all teach painting classes that allow you to bring your own wine and/or snacks to enjoy while you paint. They aren’t actual painting lessons, but they are a fun way to spend an evening with your significant other, even if you aren’t artistically inclined! Bring your partner’s favorite bottle of wine to show that you were thinking of them.

o  Language: Quality time, Receiving Gifts, possibly Words of Affirmation

14. Love notes leading to a Nerf Gun surprise

o  Write little love notes and things you appreciate about your spouse on post-it notes, then stick them all over the house in places you think they’ll find them. Have the notes lead a trail to the kitchen table where a note and a Nerf Gun is waiting for them. Spend the afternoon battling it out for fun!

o  Language: Quality time, Words of Affirmation, and possibly Receiving Gifts

15. Sky writing on a day out

o  This is an action that happens much more often in movies, probably because of the hefty price tag that goes along with it. But if you have money to burn, you can have a plane write out your love note for $3-6000 with  Sky-writing.com or have them tow a banner behind the plane for a bit less, starting at $525 with Flysigns.com.

o  Language: Words of Affirmation and Receiving Gifts

16. Nature walks on the beach or through a park

o  Leisurely strolls on the beach or through a wooded area can be plenty romantic with your loved one hand in hand by your side. Talk about philosophy, or share your thoughts on current events, but make sure you let your spouse know how much you appreciate them.

o  Language: Quality time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation

17. Personal videos before a movie or event

o  This can get a little pricey, too, and is more often seen in movies (it’s helpful if you know the ones in charge of the theater/restaurant/event center).  If you have the ability, patch together a sentimental video to show your spouse in a big public display of how much you love them.

o  Language: Words of Affirmation and Receiving Gifts

18. Private conversations at a wine bar

o  If you’re looking for a quaint and comfortable setting to enjoy meaningful conversation, try a wine bar. Simply order a drink, soak up the atmosphere, and chat with your partner. It’s a great way to get to know each other if the relationship is new, or to just dive into deeper topics.

o  Language: Quality time and Words of Affirmation, possibly Receiving Gifts

19. A Short Trip (or Day trip) + Souvenirs

o  For James’s birthday one year, we took a short trip down to Austin, TX. We stayed in a nice hotel, visited lots of local (vegan) restaurants and shops, and bought little souvenirs to remind us of the trip. It was a lot of fun, a time we’ll always cherish. It doesn’t actually matter where you visit or for how long, as long as you make it special. We still enjoy taking day trips down to Austin occasionally.

o  Language: Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, possibly Physical touch

20. Get Matching Tattoos

o  I’m not the kind of person who encourages matching tattoos, but going to get any kind of tattoo together as a date sounds like a winner in my book. (What can I say? I love them!) It’s a great (permanent) gift you can give them, and if you go to the right place, can also help in the quality time/physical touch department. That is, if they let you sit near each other and hold hands.

o  Language: Receiving Gifts, possibly Physical touch and Words of Affirmation

21. Dinner on a rooftop

o  If you live in a city, perhaps in an apartment building, and have a way of accessing the rooftop, this can be a pretty romantic space to set up a dinner in. (That’s a big IF; it’s not as romantic if you have to bash the door in to gain access – trust me, I know.) If the roof is out of the question, try a really high hotel room with a balcony. String up some twinkling lights and enjoy a candle lit dinner overlooking the city at night.

o  Language: Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, possibly Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch.

22. Picnic at the park

o  Make your own picnic lunch and bundle up necessities in a basket. Take your partner by the arm and visit your local park one afternoon! It’s a fun, simple, inexpensive way to spend time with each other.

o  Language: Quality time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and possibly Words of Affirmation

23. Visit a local Barnes & Noble

o  Set a date to visit your local Barnes & Nobel (or any bookstore) and make it a point to buy your loved one a book they’ve had their eye on. If there’s a coffee shop nearby, you can take your new books and chat while enjoyed your favorite drinks.

o  Language: Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, possibly Words of Affirmation

24. Buy a star (hello, a Walk to Remember!)

o  Less of a date and more like a gesture unless combined with another activity, copy Landon from a Walk to Remember and buy them a star! Either name it after them or let them name the star themselves. Wanna take it a step further? Use a telescope to actually point the star out to them.

o  Language: Receiving Gifts, Quality Time quite possibly Words of Affirmation

25. A surprise Amazon package

o  One of my favorite presents I’ve ever received was when James sent me a surprise gift in the mail, barely a week after we started dating. I had mentioned in passing a movie I wished I owned, so he took it upon himself to purchase it and have it shipped to my door the next day – my birthday. It’s a super thoughtful way to show them you’ve been listening.

o  Language: Receiving Gifts

26. Make dinner at home

o  Cooking a homemade meal at home is a great way to do something nice for the one you love. Set the mood with romantic music, or turn on a romantic movie to enjoy while you eat.

o  Language: Acts of Service, Quality Time, possibly Physical touch

27. Finish a DIY project together

o  Is there a project your partner’s been meaning to finish? Make it a date to do together! You’ll get your hands dirty and feel a sense of accomplishment when you’re done.

o  Language: Quality time, Acts of Service

28. Grocery shopping dates

o  One of the simplest ways to spend time together is to go grocery shopping together! Being silly while shopping is a cute way to squeeze in alone time any way you can.

o  Language: Quality time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts

29. Going for a drive

o  While this isn’t exactly a date, it is a simple way to squeeze in time together. Even if your baby is sleeping in the back seat, just go for a drive and hold each other’s hand.

o  Language: Quality Time, Physical Touch

30. Couple’s massage at home

o  A romantic and inexpensive date that gives you an excuse to put your hands on each other. Help your partner relax by playing calming music and massaging them at home.

o  Language: Quality time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service

31. Watch the stars on your rooftop

o  Earlier we talked about dinner on a rooftop; now we’re talking stargazing. If you live in a house and have a way to get up on the roof, do so together. Bring a bottle of wine, if you can manage it.

o  Language: Quality Time, Physical Touch

32. Ice skating or roller blading

o  Visit a local skating rink with your spouse. Leaning on each other so you don’t fall is a perfect excuse for extra physical contact.

o  Language: Quality time, Physical touch, possibly Acts of Service

33. Karaoke Night

o  If you and your partner enjoy the local bar’s atmosphere, spend some time there on karaoke night. Buy your date a few drinks, then get up on stage and be ridiculous together.

o  Language: Quality time, possibly Receiving Gifts

34. Geocaching Scavenger Hunt

o  Something I’ve always wanted to try – going on a scavenger hunt for random things with the Geocaching app.

o  Language: Quality time

35. Drive in Movie

o  I’ve heard great things about the Coyote Drive-in in Fort Worth, and it looks like they just opened one in Lewisville! A great old-fashioned date for you and your love.

o  Language: Quality Time, Physical Touch, possibly Receiving Gifts

36. Cooking class

o  Learn a skill together! Cooking isn’t the only option, here.

o  Language: Quality time, possibly Words of Affirmation

37. Go out dancing!

o  Visit a local bar on two-step night or take a simple dancing class.

o  Language: Quality Time, Physical Touch

38. Breakfast in bed

o  A sweet and inexpensive way to do something special for your spouse. Add a little love note for a little extra.

o  Language: Quality time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, possibly Words of Affirmation

39. Couple’s road trip

o  No need to get crazy, but planning a road trip for just the two of you can be a much-needed couples-only vacation.

o  Language: Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Physical Touch

40. Go on a Cruise

o  A cruise! This would be quite the extravagant gift to tell your loved one you care about them. You’ll be on a boat for 3-7 (sometimes more) days, focusing on adventure, but together.

o  Language: Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Physical Touch

41. An all-inclusive Resort

o  Similar to a cruise, minus the traveling on a boat. Lots of time for focusing only on each other.

o  Language: Quality time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, and Touch

42. A Rose Petal Bath and Wine

o  Fill up the tub with warm soapy water and sprinkle rose petals on top. Light candles nearby and pour a couple of glasses of their favorite wine. So romantic!

o  Language: Quality time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Gifts

43. Indoor Rock Climbing

o  A great trust-building exercise if you belay each other up the rock wall.

o  Language: Quality time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, even Physical Touch

44. Take a self-defense class

o  A great way to say “I love you” is by wanting your partner to learn to protect themselves.

o  Language: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch

45. Tailgating before a Game

o  I may not be much of a sports fan myself, but for those who are, tailgating before a game is a wonderful way to bond in a friendly setting.

o  Language: Quality Time, Physical Touch, possibly Acts of Service

46. Tickets to a Concert/Play/Stand-up Comic

o  Gift your significant other tickets to an event they’d enjoy, that you can go to together.

o  Language: Quality time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service

47. Visit a Zoo or Aquarium

o  Taking leisurely strolls around a zoo or aquarium (or better yet, a wildlife refuge!) as you view all the animals can be a fun way to encourage conversation, although you’ll probably be constantly thinking about your kids (especially if they love animals!).

o  Language: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch

48. Paddle Boats

o  Learn to work together as you paddle, then take a break for a small picnic lunch and glass of wine you snuck along for the ride.

o  Language: Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, possibly Receiving Gifts

49. Visit a Farm

o  Might sound silly, but it can be a lot of fun learning what goes on around a family farm. (Stay AWAY from the factory farms! These will just depress you!)

o  Language: Quality Time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, possibly Acts of Service

50. Play pool at a bar

o  Get your game on at the local bar (or Main Event center!). Don’t know how to play pool? Ask your spouse to teach you!

o  Language: Quality time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation

51. Hot air balloon ride

o  Gift your partner with a hot air balloon ride! It’s a bit pricey if you can’t find a coupon, anywhere from $300-600 or more for a couple, but it’s definitely something everyone should try at least once.

o  Language: Quality time, Receiving Gifts

52. Gun range

o  Similar to the self-defense class, you could practice your aim together at a gun range Mr. & Mrs. Smith – style. Or, you could even encourage each other to take a Concealed Handgun License course.

o  Language: Quality time, Gifts, Words of affirmation

53. Helicopter ride

o  A chopper ride, similar to the hot air balloon, is a little pricey. If you get in on the Valentine’s Day deals, they can actually be cheaper than the hot air balloon.

o  Language: Quality Time, Gifts

 

Other thoughtful gestures to keep in mind:

Looking for smaller gestures you can do more often? Try these out.

  • Hold hands (Physical Touch)
  • Hugs and Kisses (Touch)
  • Text them you love them (Words of Affirmation)
  • Surprise Starbucks (Receiving Gifts)
  • Breakfast in bed (Acts of Service)
  • Flowers sent to work (Gifts)
  • Foot or shoulder massages (Acts of Service and Physical Touch)
  • Help with chores (Acts of Service)
  • Open doors (Acts of Service)
  • Fetch the car for them when it’s raining (Acts of Service)
  • Souvenirs from a time you were away(Gifts)
  • Stay unplugged during your time together(Quality Time)
  • Love notes in their lunch box (Words of Affirmation)

No matter what language of love you speak, hopefully you’ve found more than just a handful of ideas to try out the next time you ask your significant other for a night out (or alone-time in!).

And if your relationship is still pretty new, you should read through these together and see what he thinks would be fun.

How do you show your loved ones you care about them?

-xoxo-

Ps: Learn how to tell if your man is a real gentleman by reading Is Chivalry Dead? How to Spot a Gentleman.

 

8 Responses

  1. June Rostad

    I absolutely love Five Love Languages (pun intended). They have different books too, like one for kids. I contacted thrm once, and they were super nice. I couldn’t believe they responded to me lol. This list is awesome. Pinned 🙂

    Reply
    • Amanda

      I had no idea they had a book for kids! I’m totally going to go find it now. Thanks for sharing!!

      Reply
  2. nora

    YOU are my Bloggy Brunch linkup pick of the week! 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing. I found this so valuable because our love languages are SO different and we never can decide what we want to do together. #bloggybrunch
    xo
    nora recently posted…Bloggy Brunch Week 8My Profile

    Reply
    • Amanda

      Thank you so much Nora!! We love linking up for #bloggybrunch! I’m so glad you enjoy the date ideas 🙂 If you try any out we’d love to hear about it!

      Reply

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